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Friendsmas ideas in Toronto that aren't a restaurant reservation

Sep 3
5 min read

Updated: Sep 11

Guests laughing while decorating gingerbread houses at an adult Christmas party at home, with icing bags and elf hats


Friendsmas is the party nobody wants to host.


By the second week of December everyone has already been to the work thing, the neighbours' thing and somebody's parents' thing. The one you actually care about, the night with the eight people you never see enough of, is the one that gets pushed to January and then quietly never happens.


So somebody books a table. It is the path of least resistance and it is almost always the wrong call.


Why the restaurant reservation doesn't work


You can't hear each other. December restaurants are loud, full and running two sittings. You get ninety minutes and a table where four people can talk and the rest can't.


You sit in a row. A long table means you talk to the two people beside you. If those were the two people you wanted to catch up with, fine. Usually they aren't.


It costs more than you think. Shared starters, a main, two drinks, tax and tip lands at $110 to $150 a head in Toronto. For twelve people that is $1,500 or so for an evening nobody will remember by February.


Nothing happens. This is the real issue. Peerspace surveyed 1,000 holiday party hosts and only 6.7 per cent said their guests simply hung out. Everyone else planned something. That instinct is right, and a restaurant gives you nowhere to put it.


What makes a Friendsmas actually work


Three things, and they are the same three things that make any group evening work.


Everyone's hands are busy. A shared task gives people something to talk about that isn't themselves. Conversation happens sideways, while both people are looking at something else. That is how conversation works everywhere except at organized events.


Nobody is stuck in one seat. The best version of this night involves people moving around, which means the format matters more than the venue.


It doesn't run on drinking alone. More people are not drinking every year, and December is the month when that gets ignored hardest. If your entire plan is a bar, someone's night is worse than everyone else's.


Ten ideas, with what they actually cost


1. A cooking or craft evening at home


Somebody comes to you with everything, teaches the group to make something, and you eat it. Everyone participates, nobody is stuck in a seat, and the activity and the dinner are the same event rather than two separate bills.


$120 to $190 a head, food included. Book six to eight weeks out for December.


2. Distillery Winter Village, then somewhere warm


Toronto's Christmas market, running 12 November 2026 to 3 January 2027 in the Distillery Historic District. Free admission before 4pm, ticketed after, and tickets go on sale in September. Good for the first hour, terrible as a whole evening, because you will be cold and standing.


Free to $20, plus wherever you go next.


3. Cavalcade of Lights and skating at Nathan Phillips Square


Free skating and light installations at City Hall, running from late November into early January. Genuinely lovely, genuinely free, and works for groups that include people who don't drink and people who brought kids. Dates are announced in the autumn.


Free. Rentals if you need skates.


4. A cocktail class


Everyone makes three drinks, badly, and learns something. Reliable, participatory, and the format most likely to loosen a group quickly.


$70 to $120 a head, usually without food.


5. Gingerbread house night


Underrated, and the only Friendsmas format where everyone leaves holding something. Works because nobody has done it since they were nine, so the whole group starts equally bad at it. Competitive without needing a scoreboard.


Kits from $30 a head if you run it yourself, $130 to $180 hosted with food.


6. A rented private space with your own food


Peerspace and similar platforms list Toronto lofts, studios and event rooms by the hour. You bring the food, the music and the plan. More work, more control.


$60 to $200 an hour for the space, plus catering.


7. Secret Santa with a rule


Not an evening on its own, but it fixes an evening that has nowhere to go. A $25 cap and a category, everything must be secondhand, or nothing may be useful, produces more conversation than any icebreaker.


Whatever you set the cap at.


8. Casa Loma at Christmas


The castle is decorated inside and out, with a light tour through the grounds and the underground tunnel after dark. Photographs absurdly well. Usually runs early December into early January, on select dates, with the evening Holiday Lights as a separate ticket. Good for a group that wants to walk and look at something rather than sit.


Ticketed, and it sells out. Check dates when they are announced.


9. A potluck with an actual structure


The classic, and it works when somebody assigns courses rather than hoping. Cheapest option here by a wide margin. The catch is that the host cooks, sets and cleans, which is why this is the party that gets cancelled.


$15 to $30 a head if everyone contributes.


10. WinterFest at Canada's Wonderland


21 November to 27 December 2026, in Vaughan. Lights, select rides, shows and an artisan market. A day out rather than an evening, and only worth it if your group actually wants that.


Ticketed, plus the drive.



Maison des Amis


We run The Naughty Elves in Toronto through December. Cocktails, a gingerbread house each, food throughout, and every house judged at the end by an elf with strong opinions.


$900 + $80 a guest. Groups of six to twenty. We bring everything and clear it all away.




Booking anything in December


Six to eight weeks ahead. Most Toronto venues and hosts are full by early November for December Saturdays.


Avoid the third weekend. It is the busiest of the year for corporate parties, and everything costs more and runs worse.


Fridays are easier than Saturdays, and a Sunday afternoon is easiest of all. Half your group is more available than you think.


Ask about the non-drinkers before you book, not after. Any host worth using has a real answer.



Frequently asked


What is Friendsmas? A holiday celebration with friends rather than family, usually held in the weeks before Christmas. It has moved from a social media trend to a normal fixture, largely because people live further from family than they used to and want a version of the holiday that is theirs.


When should we have it? Anytime from late November to the third week of December. Earlier is better, because everyone's calendar fills fast and the last two weeks belong to family.


How much should a Friendsmas cost per person? A restaurant lands at $110 to $150 a head with tax and tip. A hosted experience with food included runs $120 to $190. A structured potluck can come in under $30. The number matters less than whether anything actually happens.


What group size works best? Eight to twenty. Below eight it is dinner with friends. Above twenty you are running an event and need a format built for it.


What if half the group doesn't drink? Choose a format where the activity is the point and the drinking is optional. Cooking, crafting and skating all work. A bar crawl does not, and the person not drinking will spend the evening being asked why.


Do we need to plan an activity? The data says yes. In one survey of 1,000 holiday party hosts, only 6.7 per cent left the evening unstructured. Something to do is what separates a Friendsmas people talk about from a dinner they forget.

 
 
 

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